Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
