Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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