Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize