I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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