More tranny stories later!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize