We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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