Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
