he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
