how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
