weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
