i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
as a side note pls kill me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
