the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
