I am puke
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
