brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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