sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
