lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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