Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize