So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
