I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
