Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
