you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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