Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Come on in and take your pants off
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
