please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
