yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
