apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
