Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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