Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
