Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
