How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
