Jerry, you need to find god
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
