I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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