Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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