I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found a bag of teeth...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
