I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
