found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
