I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
