So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
