He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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