The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
