hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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