I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
