then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
