Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize