And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
