You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Mom said you looked used
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
