i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
