I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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