okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
