I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
