my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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