i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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