from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
