1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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