I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
