omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
