I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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