MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
did i just pee glitter
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