How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
