it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
