I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
