I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
