ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
