I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im holly from the hills drunk
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize