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Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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