He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
