I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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