god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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